Give Us This Day Our Daily Pill
A few years ago I was initiated into a club that I never thought I’d be a part of. And no, it’s not the Breakfast Club. (I wish!)
This club is made up of one in four Americans, who like me, experience regular appointments with psychiatrists, therapists, LCSW’s, mentors, and who might have a whole list of prescribed cocktails to get our bodies back into good health.
Welcome to Club Mental Health—where we all need a whole lot of empathy, and a buttload of grace!
Jesus taught us in the Lord’s Prayer to “give us this day our daily bread,” recognizing that it is God who provides us with our daily meals even if we get our bread from the baker. Some of us, well, at least 26% of us, have to also ask God to give us this day our daily pill. We pray for relief from anxiety and depression, and God uses means, just like he uses Ralph’s or Von’s bakery for fresh-baked bread, he helps us find relief.
So the same truth about “daily bread” applies in the area of medicine. When we receive a pill from the hand of a doctor, we know that ultimately, it is God who is providing us exactly with what we need for our bodies to work properly and be healthy.
Depression is an illness, it’s not a sin. It requires treatment just like any other sickness.
In this article, I hope to provide some useful guidance for those who currently need to get help, and I hope to provide some words of encouragement for those who know someone with a mental health condition.
How to Get Help for Yourself
*Note: Before I say anything more, this part is really directed at those who are beyond “self-care” treatment. If you’re trying all of the typical things—diet, sleep, exercise, or if you’ve just totally slipped for the past few months and—life happened—and you fell off the bandwagon and are in a really bad spot, then this section is for you. If you are reading this as someone with no personal experience with mental health, then I’d encourage you to still read this but probably pay more attention to the following section.
1. You need to know and be assured that it’s okay to get help.
This is something that’s very hard for Americans—it’s the classic guy who can’t ask for directions sort of thing. We don’t think we need help, so we don’t ask for help. So I’d first say, especially if you’re someone who believes that the message of Christianity is true:
“We can’t help ourselves, God helps those who cannot help themselves.”
As those who profess faith in Jesus Christ, all the more should we be leading by example in this. It’s okay to get help. We know this to be true spiritually, why can’t we embrace this bodily? Recognize that if you need help, you’re not weak. You’re a person. People need help. This is true for spirituality and it’s true for mental health.
2. You need to know that having a mental Illness is not your fault.
If you’re reading this right now, know “It’s not your fault.”
It’s not your fault, any more than heart disease or diabetes or being diagnosed with cancer is someone’s fault. We don’t blame a person then, so why do we think it’s okay to fault someone with a mental illness or make them feel bad for having a mental health condition?
3. You need to know that getting help for a mental illness is a lot harder than it looks.
People who mean well, and who catch some signs of depression or anxiety in someone often say, “Get help,” but where does a person actually go to “Get help?”
It’s not as simple as calling 911 when you break your leg. And the other thing is unless a person who has a mental illness has a strong support group (a spouse, a close friend, or a church with caring people and resources), it’s that much harder for a person to figure out how they can even get help.
The mental healthcare system is super confusing. There are lots of terms to learn: psychiatrist, therapist, psychologist, psychotherapist, LMFT, counselor. Which doctor or therapist should I see? How do I even get an appointment? What if the appointment isn’t for one to two months from now when I need help right now? And what if I’m in such a state that I can’t even figure out how to call the right number. And where do I even go? If I go to this provider, is it covered under my insurance?
This gets really confusing for anyone, let alone for a person who has a mental health condition. So the best advice I can give for people, generally speaking, is to try to work with what you have and with who you know. The best place to start is with your healthcare provider and try to stay within your network. This will be the least expensive option, and it should be the simplest option for you.
So for example, I have Kaiser Permanente, and they have a phone number for psychiatric needs. That’s where I start. Because if I go to the ER, they aren’t really going to help me much for what’s going on with my brain—they usually don’t have a psychiatrist on hand in the ER.
4. You need to come up with a Mental Health Action Plan with your family and provider once you’re feeling better.
This doesn’t need to take very long, but it should take place at some point. Speak to your psychiatrist about what to do in a future emergency situation, or an urgent situation. This includes names and phone numbers of people close to you to call for help, it includes action steps, etc. So have this ready before you ever get to a low point again.
5. You need to continue with follow-up care.
Your life is very precious. You matter. You have been created by the Maker of all things, and he has made you intricately and wonderfully, even if you don’t feel all that intricate or wonderful all the time.
So make sure to schedule a routine appointments with your psychiatrist and/or therapist. It helps to ask a spouse, family member, or a close friend to help you with follow-up care so they can be up to date on your current treatment plan. This is something I’ve learned by experience, but treatment changes from time to time and varies greatly from individual to individual. Those who are caring for you need to know these changes when they occur, because again, you matter.
6. You need to know that it’s probably not a “spiritual” problem.
Far too many people assume mental illness is a “spiritual” problem when in fact it’s something that is happening to the human brain and/or body.
For example, what sort of thoughts are you thinking about? How are you feeling? How have you been sleeping? What foods have you been eating (food affects mood)? How much regular exercise have you been getting?
It’s harmful to think something is spiritually wrong when physical solutions haven’t even been tried or tested.
7. You need to know that getting help isn’t only to help you, but it also helps others around you.
There’s a reason why the flight attendant tells every parent on an airplane to “Please put on your own mask before you assist your child with a safety mask.” You have to be in good health yourself before you can take care of others.
Now the inverse applies in the area of mental health. If I am not mentally healthy, it affects others around me. So it’s expedient that I take my mental health seriously enough to get help as soon as I need it, so that others aren’t affected greatly. Of course, sometimes we are past the point of return, and we just simply need help. When that happens, others are happy to help. Just know that we are all interconnected.
And yes, if you’re wondering if you are a burden to others around you—you are. And that’s more than okay!
Each one of us is a “burden” to someone else in different ways and during different seasons of time. The apostle Paul says about the church, “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together” (1 Corinthians 12:26). And he encourages us to “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). Each of us bring our own set of burdens with us to church, and all of us need encouragement, love, support, and grace. Don’t let your burden of depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition keep you away from church. Instead, find a church family where you can meet Jesus and his people who say to you, as often as you need to hear it:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
What Others Need to Know About Helping Those With Mental Health Conditions
1. People need to know and regularly hear that it’s not their fault.
Way too often I hear people saying statements like, “Oh, she must be a drug addict.” or “He must have smoked pot.” or “There’s definitely substance abuse going on there,” when someone with a mental health condition is being discussed, and what this does is it further casts blame upon the person. A mental health condition is not someone’s fault. Rather, it is part of living in a broken, sin-cursed world where our bodies and minds don’t always work properly. We get sick. Christians believe that all of us are “sick,” which is why we need Jesus, the Great Physician (Doctor) to heal us.
In Good Will Hunting, there’s a segment where Robin Williams tells Matt Damon, who was a survivor of sexual abuse, “It’s not your fault.” The same encouragement can and should be repeated to someone who has a mental illness. Let them know and hear that their depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, OCD, panic attacks, or other mental health condition is not their fault.
2. People need to know that the person you know who is struggling is a person, not a patient.
Unless you are that person’s psychiatrist or therapist, they are a person and you need to treat them with full dignity and respect. It also means, try showing them empathy. Be their friend. Spend time with them and show them that you love them and want them to know this.
There’s no better way to do this than by walking with them through their darkest days. I love the song “Walk Me Home” by Pink for that reason. “Walk me home in the dead of night, cause I can’t be alone with all that’s on my mind.” It’s a perfect description of what it means to be with someone who is struggling and battling a mental health condition.
3. People need to know that a person with a mental illness is not clueless or out of touch with reality.
In fact, a huge majority of people in the U.S. who struggle with mental health are silent sufferers. You won’t even know it but a lot of people you know are already on anti-depressants. And they’re functioning just fine. Two-thirds of people with mental illness live normal lives. Some even live highly functioning lives
So when someone you know shares with you that they suffer from depression, don’t assume that they are incapable or lazy or are somehow unproductive. Those are myths, not facts about people with mental health.
4. People need to know that the road to mental health Is a marathon, not a sprint.
Be patient and show lots of grace With those who are suffering from a mental Health Condition. The road from mental illness to mental health is a marathon, not a sprint. People need to have realistic expectations about someone who suffers from depression or anxiety and should be able to demonstrate patience.
This also means that if you have a timeline on when the person should be getting better, it’s best to just lay that down. Drop the timeline and instead opt to be there for the person no matter how long it takes them to fully recover and be themselves.
5. People need to know more about Mental Health in America.
Educate yourself on mental health, especially if you know the specific mental illness that affects your loved one, family member, or friend.
6. People need to ask, “How would you like to be cared for?”
Ask the person how they would like to be cared for specifically. Treatment plans will vary from person to person, and everyone will have different needs in general and at different times or seasons of their life. So the only way to know for sure is to ask. Get to know the person you are trying to care for better by asking them how you can better care, and then do it.
Further Reading
If you or your loved one, family member, or friend are living with a mental health condition and you need help, you are not alone in this.
More Articles by Nicholas Davis:
Other Websites with Mental Health Resources:
An Advent Message for the Anxious
Some of us approach Christmas day with anxiety. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with how much work you have to do before the holiday break happens—you have too many deadlines and you don’t know how you’re going to do it all. You might have what feels like endless shopping lists, for presents and groceries and you don’t know how you’ll have enough time to make Christmas happen again this year. For single moms and parents, this time of year can become a greater burden. Or, you’re anxious because this time of year brings back painful experiences and memories of loved ones who won’t be home for Christmas. I’ll have a Blue, blue, Christmas this year.
If any of that describes you, if you’re anxious today, Advent is a time to find hope in the middle of your anxiety. Advent is a time to refuse to let anxiety have its way with us. Advent is a time that refuses to let our fears and pains keep us from embracing the light and warmth of Christmas again.
In Paul’s letter to the Philippians, he calls them to something that if you’re like me, well, it sounds impossible. He says in Philippians 4:4: “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”
Easy for you to say Paul. You’re a super Christian. I’m just an ordinary person. I don’t know how to rejoice. I can’t have joy when I’m dealing with this—you haven’t been there—or I can’t have joy when I’m feeling like I do—you don’t know what it’s like to be me.
As much as I want to write Paul off right now as some pie in the sky theologian, or some overly pious Christian, or somebody who is singing about a red-nosed reindeer or frosty the snowman while there are real problems going on this Christmas season—his life and his circumstances won’t allow me to do that. I—we—can’t write him off.
Paul wrote these words while he was in prison, while he was being prosecuted. He and Silas went to the city of Philippi to preach the gospel as missionaries…And while there they were unjustly stripped naked and beaten with rods by a mob. Then the government officials threw them into jail. But while they were inside of the walls of captivity, he and Silas joyfully sang hymns to God. They joyfully prayed to God, and they did it without fear or shame, and with conviction in their hearts such that the jailor, the person who was guarding the prison doors, ended up asking them “What must I do to be saved?”
So Paul speaks as someone who knew how to rejoice no matter what was going on around him or happening to him. Do you want to know how to have that kind of joy today? I do, and I confess that I have not always been a joy-filled person. It’s not easy, but if we listen long enough to Paul’s instruction, we may learn how the gospel can free us from anxiety so we can rejoice always. How the gospel can deliver us from the vice-grip anxiety might have over us, and turn us into people who are full of joy instead of full of anxiety.
How Can We Rejoice?
“Rejoice always, again I will say, rejoice.” What an impossible command for us to hear. It sounds like that song by Bobby McFerrin, “Don’t worry, be happy.” But wait, the text doesn’t say Rejoice always, again I will say, rejoice, does it? We’re not to clap our hands just because or smile away for no apparent reason. How does v. 4 read?…Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.
What would seem like an impossible command—have joy, or rejoice constantly—is met with the God who makes the impossible, possible. The reason we are commanded to rejoice always is because the Lord himself is the object of our rejoicing. Jesus is the reason, not for the season, but for our rejoicing. He is the very source, the secure ground—On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
It’s almost the end of the year which means lists are coming out about how to have more joy in 2020, or how to be happier this new year. And what do people tend to be happy in? (List some things off….) Go outdoors, do self-care, play with your kids, play like a kid, travel more, exercise, sleep more, the list goes on. So if we take any of those things on that list, I’ll take travel for example. Rejoice in traveling more, again I will say rejoice. What’s wrong with believing travel is going to be a reliable source of constant joy? ….well what if i can no longer travel anymore. What if my finances plummet. What if I get too old to move and explore far. What if I have obligations (work or family) that keep me from soaring the heights that I want to, and now I resent family and work because travel was supposed to fix my empty feeling of not being happy.
See, we could take any number of those things in that list, and substitute one for the other, BUT UNTIL we replace any and all of those things on that list with the LORD and CREATOR of all those things, we will never be able to rejoice always. But IF, if we find joy in the Lord, nothing—not anyone—not anything—can take joy from us. Never. Not ever.
And that’s because our joy is centered in the Lord. It’s an oxymoron to meet a joyless Christian, because a Christian is someone who is united to Jesus, the Lord and source of all joy, hope, comfort, love, and peace.
Now of course, it’s possible for a Christian to have days or seasons where we lack joy. Maybe we don’t or haven’t thought much about how the good news changes our outlook on pretty much everything. Maybe we forgot what it’s like, maybe we’ve been isolated for so long we have grown cold and indifferent. Maybe we haven’t been participating in the life of the church and we have fewer reasons to even remember what difference the gospel makes at all. Maybe we’ve been caught up in a particular sin that is suffocating our joy—and we need to repent right now and ask God for forgiveness. Or maybe we are clinically depressed or suffering from anxiety, and it is very difficult to experience a decent day, let alone a joyful one. But, if a person does not have joy, ever, and has never had a sense of joy—the question I have to ask myself, and you should be asking yourself is—Am I really a Christian? Do I today—now—trust in Jesus? This command is a present command—rejoice always. That means right now. Are you full of joy?
Jesus is the reason we can rejoice always.
How to Deal With Your Anxiety
And a very practical way in which all of this applies is in our daily life. In Philippians 4:6, Paul brings up something that many of us face right now, or probably dealt with regularly.
That something is anxiety.
The word “anxiety” means that we are full of care. Maybe a good way to put it is, it’s the experience of caring too much. It’s that gnawing, clawing feeling you get that disrupts our peace of mind, destroys our joy, and disturbs our lives in ways that make us feel heavy, feel burdened, feel stuck.
But I want to say three quick things about anxiety before going any further.
1. Anxiety is a normal reaction that can happen to anybody.
We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t get anxious in response to something unsettling that happens in our lives. To get anxious about someone or something reveals that we care a lot about the person, or fixing a situation, or resolving an issue.
2. If you suffer from anxiety, please in no way take what I’m about to say as not being in favor of taking medication or seeking out a holistic treatment plan to help you with battling anxiety.
What I want to focus on now is the root and heart issue surrounding anxiety, not the biochemical or other areas that affect us simply because we have bodies that, because of the fall, don’t work properly all the time. Sometimes our bodies need multiple helps and tools to deal with our anxiety or depression.
3. Anxiety is not something that can easily or quickly BE fixed.
The worst possible advice you can give to someone who suffers from anxiety is to tell them to “stop worrying.” That’s not going to help anyone. A person can’t stop being anxious any more than a football player who just got hit hard and now has a leg injury can just get up and “walk it off.” Usually they’re wheeled off the field because the problem is so serious it’s out of their own hands.
The thing about anxiety is, we don’t choose to be anxious. Anxiety comes upon us. It could be because of good reasons, like a death in the family, job loss, difficult circumstances. But it could also be because of no clear reason. I might have no reason at all to be anxious, I know I have nothing to worry about right now, but I feel so overwhelmed. I wake up in the middle of the night and my chest is pounding. I’m struck down. Out of nowhere, like the football player I’ve been laid out by this thing and I’m not able to get up and walk. Anxiety isn’t always a choice. Whether circumstances shape it, or feelings do, sometimes it just happens.
So we might not be able to control moments or seasons of feeling anxious, but what we can begin to do is see how the gospel can free us from our anxiety. Now hear me out. I am not telling you to “Stop worrying!” about your anxiety. I am not saying, “Just quit being anxious.” I’m not even saying “Just trust God.” or condemning you by saying “You’re just not trusting God enough, that’s why you suffer from this condition.” That’s not Paul’s message. Those are the cliches we say when we don’t know what to say to a friend who is anxious.
But, look at how Paul phrases it in Philippians 4:6, "do not be anxious about anything…”
Oh, here we go again… See, he’s saying just stop being anxious…wait, no he’s not… He goes on, “but.” See, it’s not a simple “stop worrying”—that part is true, that does need to stop, but something else must start in place of the stopping.
There is hope for the anxious person. What’s the answer Paul gives us?
He says, “but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”
Paul’s teaching reflects the very words of Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus taught in Matthew 6, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” The Lord who is near in his Second Advent—coming soon and forever close to us—is the one who is in control of everything.
What low-grade anxiety does to us is it creates a distraction in our lives. Tim Keller once labeled our culture as having “attention deficit disorder.” Or like media ecologists have said, we live in a time where we are “distracting ourselves to death.” But this internal distractedness that many of us experience is the enemy of peace. This lack of focus, this lack of direction to what really matters takes us deeper into ourselves. But Paul calls us to look not within ourselves, not to trust in ourselves, but to trust in and look to God.
The best way to become anxious about nothing is to pray about everything. The best way to stop worrying about anything is to start praying about everything!
Prayer is a conversation with God. It’s us talking to God, responding from his Word. Proseuchomai is the Greek word where we get pray from, but the pros prefix gives it a directed sense. It literally means to “pray toward.” The act of prayer itself propels us to look up to God, not down to ourselves. To look out, not within. And in the presence of God, that’s where our fears and anxieties can begin to dissipate.
Now this doesn’t mean prayer is going to cure all worry. It’s not a magic trick. But it does mean that we will fare far better in this life for having gone to God with every concern and fear and worry than we would without taking it to the Lord in prayer. It does mean that, in God’s own timing, he may help us and have us overcome our worst nightmares or daily battles. Anxiety doesn’t go away because the Philippians—or we—have nothing to stress out about or problems or concerns, but because the Lord is with us.
The Lord is on our side and he is fighting our battles. God is greater than our greatest problem, concern, fear, worry, and anxiety. And prayer is the means that God has given us and that he actively uses to accomplish that lifting of worry and freeing us from the grip of anxiety.
You might not feel this way right now, but let me encourage you to start thinking about the anxiety you deal with as a blessing. Think of it as a precious little gift from God if you have to fight against anxiety. Because each time you engage in that battle, you get the chance to cast your cares and concerns on the Lord, because he cares for you.
The fact that you have anxiety is another opportunity to go running back to God with it. It’s an invitation from the Lord to come closer to him. Prayer can be the way anxiety that is nagging and annoying, and even terrible if in high doses, can become a means of grace in your life. A means by which you are drawn closer and closer into the arms of the Lord who cares for the brokenhearted and the anxious. Even if you remian anxious—especially if you are anxious—the Lord is near.
A Prayer for the Anxious During Advent
Father, give us lives that live and breath and move in constant conversation with you. Prayer is the antidote to anxiety. Prayer is Your prescription for a life that lacks trust. Prayer is medicine and balm for a worrisome life.
Help us to trust and rest confidently each day in you. Let us find peace and all security in you, and in you alone. And help us to see that your drawing near to us means all our fears and worries have an expiration date.
That because of Advent, one day soon you are going to do away with all fears and tears, and replace all that with peace, love, and the fullness of joy. Come, Lord Jesus. Amen.
What is the Purpose of Sex?
